God only knows.

I hear America singing.

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I finally cried about it all tonight.

I was on my way to a concert, where my landlady’s daughter was playing with the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland’s orchestra alongside a collection of musician artists paying tribute to, ironically, American music.

Outside the theater was a protest. Against ICE.

The wound of what is happening in the United States is so deep, it is bruising the whole world. I stood and listened to the speakers, and asked some of the protestors if I could take their pictures, to share my with American friends. And when the lady with the No More Fascist IceHoles sign took my hand and gently said, “We’re with you,” I just lost it.

History has its eyes on us. The escalating violence and lack of accountability — and the lessons other racist pieces of shit like Reform UK are gleaning from this — are chilling.

I went inside the concert hall and watched James Emmanuel deliver a stirring rendition of Marvin Gaye’s “What’s Going On?” that felt so intense and so relevant, not just because of the timeless power of the song, but because of the feeling of solidarity among the members of the audience.

I saw an orchestra-backed, bluegrass version of pride of Minneapolis Prince’s “Raspberry Beret,” sung by Amythyst Kiah. Heard Phil Campbell make the case for hope with “Feeling Good” and “Don’t Stop Believin'.” But when Elbow’s Guy Garvie, a man whose voice I long to crawl inside and die peacefully in, did one of my favorite songs in the world, “God Only Knows,” I left my body for a while. Dude does well with an orchestra. It was genuinely one of the most moving performances I’ve ever seen. Sometimes you just need to experience some beauty in an ugly time.

The evening proved a balm and a heartbreak, a reminder of how much America has given the world. So much creativity. So much talent. So much damn fun. What are we giving it now? Notes on how to get away with murder? Lessons in shameless corruption, and cynical slander? Yes. And also, what it looks like to stand up to tyrants, in the freezing cold. How to be united in our grief. How to hope, in spite of it all. How to carry each other when hope is lost.

The evening ended with all the artists on stage for one more American classic, so I’ll leave you with it too. I’m glad I’m spending whatever this is with you.